![]() Why are they advertising a B-movie that comes out at the end of November now? Stupid. Wait, a commercial for A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas. Nothing out of the ordinary during the first break. I decided to watch the first commercial break, because I want to see what’s being advertised to teenagers these days. I’ve heard of Jessie J, but if you asked me to pick her music out of a lineup, I’d fail. It looks like she broke her ankle or something, so she’s performing in a chair with a boot on her foot. This girl Jessie J is the house band playing during commercial breaks. Good to see Britney looking presentable again. Old Lady Spears beats out Katy Perry, Adele and…other people. I’m guessing no more than 14 people in that room have any idea what Moneyball is. He then drops a quick plug for Moneyball (September 23!). He jokes about the people who have been saying that now that he’s not fat he won’t be funny anymore. I don’t see how he could have possibly done that so fast without surgery. It really is alarming seeing Hill, who seems to have literally dropped half of his weight. Hardy-har-har!ġ3:00: Nicki Minaj (dressed like a complete idiot) and the newly emaciated Jonah Hill present Best Pop Video. Cue obligatory Jersey Shore cast STD joke. The bleeping (it’s really temporary muting) is distracting. Either let people curse openly or insist that they don’t curse at all. He curses a bunch of times, all of which are bleeped. ![]() If that was his sole task, he probably should’ve made a better effort at making it funny. He declares he’s not the host and is just there to deliver an opening monologue. Some guy named Kevin Hart (who, of course, has a movie to plug) is apparently the host. But at least I can tell he’s a guy! Despite being named “Taylor Lautner.”ĩ:00-13:00: They cut to a wide shot of the venue and stage, which looks like the head of one of the alien machines in the 1953 War of the Worlds. Cut to Taylor Lautner, who also appears clueless. Why is it so hard for these people to appear distinctly masculine or feminine? Weezer guitarist Brian Bell makes a cameo appearance, and of course most of the 20-somethings in the fan section next to the stage have no clue who he is. Various cuts to other artists in the crowd and HOLY SHIT when did androgyny become so popular? Between GaGa and cutaways to Bruno Mars and Justin Bieber, I don’t know who is male, who is female, and who is neither or both. But at least she sings live, and does it well. Then she/he/it performs a song I can’t identify. Did I really just have to spell that out?Ġ0:00-8:00: The show starts with Lady GaGa in drag as her “alter ego” Joe Calderone, who gives this stupid, strange performance art monologue that makes no sense whatsoever. 08:00 means 8 minutes in, 1:24:00 means an hour and 24 minutes in, etc. how far into the show each thing occurred. In case you’re a complete idiot, the numbers before each comment are time stamps, i.e. Because what good is watching something like that if you can’t share your opinions of it with the whole wide world? Today, I sat down and watched all 2 and a half hours of the show, INCLUDING most of the commercials (I’ll explain why as we go), and here is what I thought. I didn’t really want to watch it, but then I came up with the idea of watching it with my laptop open and turning the whole experience into a blog post, taking notes and commenting on things along the way. I was even able to avoid almost all spoilers for the show in my internet travels the past couple days (an extremely difficult task these days). I didn’t care enough to watch the show live, but I did DVR it, and I was going to force myself to watch the whole thing later. I decided right then and there I wanted to see just how out of touch I am with pop music in 2011. I haven’t been inspired by any pop music in years enough to get back into following it, and I don’t EVER listen to the radio, so even songs that are huge hits right now often go unnoticed in my little world. Nowadays, the only music I’m really on top of is electronic music (via the many podcasts I listen to) and film scores. 10 years ago I watched MTV all the time, read Rolling Stone and followed music news online. ![]() As I sat there, staring at my channel guide, I started thinking about just how out of touch I’ve become with modern music. I had no idea until that moment when they were, because I haven’t cared about the VMAs in 9 or 10 years, and haven’t watched an entire VMA show in probably that same time frame. ![]() I was flipping through the guide the other night, and when I got to MTV, I saw that the Video Music Awards were about to start. In this case, the blue channel guide on my cable box. ![]() Hello there! I didn’t expect to be doing this, but as happens with most of my entries on this site, the inspiration came from out of the blue. ![]()
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